Relationships need regular, active, whole-person engagement to thrive and succeed. This takes conscious effort and can yield tremendous results. But where and how do you start? And when? Try these 3 tips from a relationship counselor for a happy and healthy relationship in 2021. For best results, start now.
Ask questions like it’s your job.
Not in the laborious, demanding, self-aggrandizing kind of way. But, in the way spurred by genuine curiosity. In short, get curious! There are two important components to this, and one can’t happen as well without the other.
First, get curious about yourself.
Take the time to be introspective about yourself, your dreams, motivations, and emotions. Without this, you will have a hard time developing an awareness of others’ dreams, motivations, and emotions. Furthermore, you will struggle to understand how your actions or words impact another. Finally, without this step, you will find it difficult to communicate your needs, expectations, or hopes to your partner. because you will not have identified them. Don’t make this stuff up; do the work. There are countless tools and resources online and from trusted therapists to help you do this work.
Second, get curious about your partner.
Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders and architects of the Gottman Method, have identified nine components of healthy relationships. In doing so, they have termed it the “Sound Relationship House Theory.” Under several of these components is an awareness or curiosity about your partner in the relationship. Further development means asking questions and engaging with the responses. Through this, you can work to cultivate strong, healthy relationships. (For more information, see Gottman Method Therapy).
Embrace the awkward.
We want all aspects of life to proceed without a mess. But, the truth is that relationships sometimes need these lurches. These fits come with doing life alongside another human being. We are messy creatures! Continue reading “3 Tips for a Happy and Healthy Relationship in 2021”